Kitten takes me to GlamourCon

Kitten at GlamourCon

This past weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend GlamourCon in Long Beach.  Kitten invited me to tag along with her in an effort to spend our time together.  And as usual, Kitten showed me a wonderful time and introduced me to a lot of new and interesting people.  GlamourCon is largely Playboy playmates, and otherwise young, thin women who work in the sex industry in some fashion (I use the term sex industry more loosely than others might, but I consider anything particularly sexy or appearance based to be sex work.)  This demographic makes Kitten especially interesting because she is far different from these Playboy cut outs in so many ways.  Again, she defies our culture’s idea of what is sexy and who is allowed to be sexy.

Glossy 8x10 Kitten will gladly sign for adoring fans

Kitten arrives with boxes of nude or suggestive 8x10’s of herself at various ages (some quite recent), DVD’s of porn she did, and a plaster mold of her vagina to sell.  I might add she rather successfully sold a number of every item, including the vagina bust.  She also has a very different attitude than most of the younger girls vending at the convention.  She is nice to her fans.  She has such a great relationship with some of them that they got us water, bought us dinner and kept us company throughout the day.  If you ask any stripper they will tell you that most of the guys really just want someone to talk to.  It seems like that is what Kitten’s fans are like.  Nice, normal, middle aged guys who really admire her and want to be around her.  The fact that she is personable and gets to know them makes her appeal that much more.  Kitten operates from a balanced social exchange, giving her attention and care in exchange for money, gifts and favors.  Unfortunately, most of the younger girls I observed had a severely unbalanced social exchange.  They were expecting men to give them money in 

Me at GlamourCon

attention, but offered nothing in return.   I had countless conversations with men and women at the convention who were saying how unfortunate all of the new Playmates are personality wise and how they don’t have the tact and personality it takes to make the social exchange worth while.  What the men want is attention and acknowledgement.  The girls also want these things, in addition to money.   Most of the younger girls are missing the part of the exchange where they give the men what they are seeking.  Kitten understands this concept beautifully.  In fact she is so successful at it that she has fans   

The cover of the Russ Meyer film Ultra Vixens

I also see Kitten’s use of the selective optimization with compensation theory.  Although Kitten isn’t in the young, thin bombshell she once was, she has found new ways to fit into her world. She doesn’t shoot porn currently, she is comfortable with selling what she shot before.  She hasn’t completely given up her former role as the famous Kitten Natividad, but she has modified in a way that better suits her physicality and abilities.

She uses these conventions as opportunities to sell her products, but also as a means of life review.  She essentially has her life cataloged by glossy 8x10 prints and movies that she encounters on a regular basis.  I imagine she is able to organize and process her life much more easily because of this rare life she has led, mainly in front of the camera.  Like Lottie she is unashamed of her aging and changing body.  Kitten is a good example of body transcendence.  She is able to accept what she used to look like is different than what she looks like now, but she is just as sexy and confident as ever.

Another film Kitten stars in

 Certainly there is a bit of disengagement happening, but not in a bad way.  She doesn’t perform as much anymore and she isn’t quite as active now as she was 20 or 30 years ago, but she is still out there.  Kitten is certainly making room for the new generation of girls to come up around her, but that doesn’t mean she needs to step away.  She was so sweet about introducing me to contacts she has and people that could help my image and career.  It isn’t a place of competition, but a place of love.  I can’t be certain if she is this way now because of her age, or if she has always been this sweet.  Either way, she is a pillar of self-confidence and charm and I absolutely adore her.

Lottie the Body at BurlyCon 2012

Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with Lottie The Body.  Lottie is an 81 year old burlesque dancer from Detroit, Michigan.  I have to say that upon first glance, Lottie does not look, sound or move like she’s 81.  She needs a little help, her gate is short and slower and she wears those lovely orthopedic shoes.  My first encounter with Lottie was her address at the opening ceremony of the convention we attended.  She was making jokes, and laughing all the same.  She had no problem grabbing people from the audience and embarrassing them, either.  She meant it in the form of a compliment (she was telling a current dancer that she embodies burlesque) however Lottie either didn’t care, or didn’t notice the obvious embarrassment and discomfort of the other girl.  To Julie’s credit (the woman receiving the compliment) she was gracious and respectful while desperately trying to sneak back to her seat.  I noticed this behavior from Lottie occurred often over the weekend.  She seems to lack a certain public awareness, or care for what other people think of her.  She was also extremely polite in that her hearing is not amazing, so she makes up answers to the question she thinks you asked.  I think it is possible that she may be developing presbycusis.  It seems that the difficulty with which she communicated with her assistants and others when there was music on could point to a bit of pneumonic regression.  Considering her race (African American), her age and her time spent dancing in loud clubs in her youth, it is highly likely that she struggles with presbycusis.  While all of this could seem like confused behavior, I think that Lottie is just trying to be nice.  She still has the most outgoing personality, kissing people and making dirty jokes (which are in no shortage in our world). 

Lottie and Tigger in Vegas 2010

            Lottie dropped in on a particular class I took about classic bump and grind technique.  Lottie came in late with her escort, and made a grand entrance.  To be fair, it’s hard not to make an entrance when people clap for you everywhere you go.  My favorite thing about Lottie is that she doesn’t expect that kind of treatment.  She eats it up and she is appreciative.  Lottie seems to be a full believer in reciprocal social exchange.  All the love that the new generation gives to her, she gives back with kisses and waves and “I love you babies!”.  The whole class is about bumping your hips to the music and doing a proper walk.  Lottie was sitting and cheering for us, making comments about girl’s physical features (in a good way) and shouting exclamations at girls serving especially sexy bumps.  There was a lot of polite laughing on the part of the class and the instructor, but all in all it was a treat to have her there to contribute.

            I had the pleasure of taking a class from Lottie on entrances and exits.  While it wasn’t exactly clear to her that she needed to, in fact, teach the class, she was very excited to be with us and show us her moves.  She taught us the importance of kegals and how men find these exercises especially pleasing in certain situations.  I find myself especially impressed by Lottie’s willingness to share.  From what I know about the community of burlesque 60 years ago, it was not a particularly friendly place.  I am reminded of the socioeconomical selectivity theory, in this sense.  In the beginning of her life, Lottie probably concentrated most on gathering all of the information on how to be a good stripper (much like all of us are doing now).  However, after you have gathered enough knowledge it seems to be much more about emotional ties and community.  She is willing to impart her knowledge on to us, in exchange for our love and admiration. 

Lottie and I at BurlyCon 2012

Lottie is selecting the adaptive sides of Erikson’s later stages of development.  While many dancers choose isolation and become hermits after their physical beauty fades; Lottie has clearly chosen intimacy.  She wants to be around people that care for and respect her.  She also chooses generativity over stagnation when she recognizes her worth in terms of being able to pass on what she has learned over the years to the younger generation.  In fact, she meets all 5 dimensions of gernerativity according to Erikson.  By traveling to Seattle for BurlyCon, Lottie is demonstrating a desire to pass on knowledge, contribute to the community by teaching classes, leaving a legacy by introducing herself to us, being creative and productive by selling her wares at the convention and showing us she cares by taking the time to talk to us and give us advice.

            While our community loves and adores her, even if she is loud and inappropriate at times, I definitely wonder how her peers might receive her.  I certainly get the idea that with Lottie, what you see is what you get.  I would be willing to bet her personality hasn’t changed much over her life.  She has the hard shell one would require to be a black stripper in 1960.  Certainly she doesn’t sugarcoat or tone it down for anyone, in the true spirit of sassy black ladies everywhere.  Perhaps I am thinking a bit ethnocentrically, but my grandmother is in her 80’s and I can’t imagine the things she might say about someone like Lottie.  Solely based on her personality, let alone that she is a stripper.  

Kosher Asian Food with Grammy Winners

My Chair Dance Class

Kitten posing in one of her signature Burlesque numbers

Marsha the Birthday Girl and her Fancy Friends

Last night I had the pleasure of formally meeting Kitten in person.  We had made plans to spend time together last week but her busy schedule kept our plans from working out (which is all for the best considering that I was studying for our first exam).  I have seen Kitten perform before so I was not surprised by how beautiful she is.  I was, however, really impressed by how genuinely nice she is.  We agreed to meet at the dance studio I teach at for my class at 6pm and then she had arranged for me to accompany her to a birthday dinner for a friend of hers.  She ended up watching the class (we are 3 weeks into the choreography so she didn’t decide to jump in) and showering my students with compliments about how great they look and how far they have come in such a short time.  Then she showers me with compliments the entire night about how pretty I am, she likes my hair, she thinks I’m a great teacher, she thinks I’m a great dancer (generous compliment there), etc.  So then she tells me we are going to the place “Genghis Cohen” for a birthday party for a longtime tenant of hers, Marsha.  Kitten also happens to mention Marsha is a famous, songwriting lesbian, and Genghis Cohen is kosher Mongolian bbq.  So here I am, sitting at this table with people that have won Grammy’s, people that have written songs that everybody knows (Faith Hill’s “This Kiss”).  And everyone is so gracious and accepting (mind you I don’t really know how unbelievably famous these people are at this point).  I end up talking to this teenage girl who has Asperger’s and recently decided not to go through a sex change.  Kitten leans over and whispers she thinks the girl has a crush on me.  Of course, because how could this situation get any more bizarre?  I am explaining to Kitten and Syd (my new teenage lesbian friend) about what the assignment is about, and I see a look in Kitten’s eyes that tells me she doesn’t like to think of herself as aging.  To be completely fair, I don’t think of her as old or aging or anything of that nature.  I felt bad having mentioned it because I don’t want our time together to be about her age or mine or the difference between them.  Rather, I want the time we spend together to be an oral history project, a how-to guide for growing up and being fabulous.  It just so happens to be lucky for me that she just barely makes it to the young-old category so I can hang out with her and have an excuse other than I’m creepy and I want to learn everything there is to know about what her life is like and how it feels to have thousands of people know your name and think about you naked (these are on the list for my life aspirations, in case that hasn’t been said).  Kitten is young in just about every way there is, functionally, socially (she’s been married but doesn’t have any children), psychologically (the woman runs her own fan website from which she generates a profit), and biologically as well.  She still has a very social life, and many friends (mostly other creative geniuses like herself).  We got to chat briefly about her relationship with Russ Meyer, the kinds of merchandise that she sells, and the other things she does for work (she owns two houses and an apartment building, all of which she rents out to tenants like Marsha the birthday girl).  She also was very forthcoming with me about her experiences with addiction, and I was able to share my experience with her.  We even talked about maybe going to an AA meeting together.  She invited me to meet her other friends and was absolutely the most hospitable wonderful woman I have ever met.  Especially considering I was a complete stranger, asking her for a favor on good faith.  She even sent me an email this morning with a song Marsha wrote for another legend, Shannon Doah, with a note saying I had permission to use it if I wanted to.  She also sent me a funny article about a stripper rupturing a man’s bladder by falling on him.  Needless to say I am having an absolutely wonderful time getting to know Kitten and I absolutely can’t wait to spend more time with her.  Our tentative plans involve going to the gym together, going to a meeting, going to another legend’s house, going to GlamourCon together, etc.  I should have zero issue getting this assignment done and reporting the most interesting things.